Esteem Self and the goal setting process
How healthy is your esteem self? The level of your self esteem can make or break your health goals.
Without question, setting and achieving realistic goals will boost your self esteem no end. Don't believe me? Just think about the last time you struggled to learn or to achieve something. Just at the point of exasperation when you were all ready to jack it in, but instead persevered - bingo, it all falls into place - achievement!
How did you feel then? Smart, surprised, rewarded, fulfilled, elated or did you feel - pardon the expression, somewhat 'big-headed with pride? Did you feel like you could actually build further on that achievement? That buzz was you - feeding your esteem and self.
That's how you'll feel every time you set and achieve a personal
goal. Better still, it will be ten times better because
you will have focused your energies into achieving something specific and concrete.
So, goals are indeed food for your esteem self. The more you set and achieve - the more you boost your self esteem. The higher your sense of esteem self - the more you will be motivated toward even greater things.
Self esteem is an important aspect of womens health. When your esteem self is high, you like yourself; you have
a strong sense of self and of purpose; you can recognise and manage your personal state; you feel secure, grounded and motivated.
Definition Of Esteem Self
The general definition of self esteem, is that of having a high regard or good opinion of yourself. Many people and indeed, many of us women confuse self-confidence with esteem
and self. Esteem however is far more than just self confidence.
You see, without a healthy sense of esteem self, your confidence is ultimately limited. When you have a healthy self esteem, you have supreme self confidence. When your esteem is low, your self confidence will equally be low.
Esteem comes from the Latin word 'aestimare' meaning - 'to put a value on', - an estimate.
A definition of self esteem therefore, is the value you put on yourself. Naturally, the higher you value you, the more confidence you will feel and demonstrate in the outside world.
Have you ever noticed how people who ooze self esteem always appear so in control, assured and generally
get what they want? They are achievers, who continue to consistently build on their achievements. This heightens their esteem and self, which in turn fuel their motivation toward even greater outcomes.
They have a magnetic, yet quiet quality about them, which is attractive to other positive and confident people. This would support the theory that "people like people who are like themselves". Just think about one famous woman Prime Minister - Maggie Thatcher, '
the Iron Lady'. Though some of her policies may not have been liked by many, her staunch determination and strong sense of
esteem and self was and is still very much respected by many.
I'm sure if you asked people with high self esteem, they would tell you that it's near impossible to achieve anything without a set goal. That is what separates them from the people who don't set goals.
Signs Of High Esteem Self
As you've seen, self esteem is more than having a good opinion
of yourself. When it comes to womens health, your level of self esteem will dictate your attitude and your subsequent approach toward aspects of your very being. For instance:
Your Physical Health
Your Emotional Wellness
Your Mental Health
Your Definition Of Self Concept
Beauty Fitness Health
Your Approach To Food / Healthy Eating.
When you have a healthy sense of esteem self, you show your love and respect for yourself - mind, body and soul by your acts of self care. you accept yourself as you are - whether your nose is wonky, you're short, tall, slim, large etc., This does not however mean that you blind yourself to your weaknesses, such as - your need to replace eating junk food with a sensible healthy diet to lose weight.
Nor does it mean that you kid yourself that everything is hunkey dorey with your lack of nuturing of yourself, when you are clearly under physical or emotional stress.
Rather, having high self esteem means that You self-care, you
are not critical nor judgmental of yourself. You instead recognise your limitations or weaknesses and you then work in constructive ways to overcome them, through setting personal and development goals.
Here are some of the main pointers that indicate a healthy sense of esteem self.
You have a clear Definition
Of Self-Concept - a healthy sense of self
You are quietly confident about yourself/your Body Image
You don't feel the need to brag or boast about yourself, your - 'blessed with' attributes or your achievements
You have a clear sense of purpose - of what makes you tick
and are able to mangage emotional conflicts, stress etc,.
You have a healthy interest in other people and in their interests and achievements
You are not reliant on, nor do you need to seek out praise or recognition for yourself, from others on how you look, on your appearance etc.,
You're aware of your personal value and self worth
and are therefore able to accept compliments and recognition without feeling embarrassed or uncomfortable
All of the above point to a woman who accepts responsibility for,
her own self-monitoring and for maintaining her own self esteem. She does not rely on, nor does she need the opinions of other people for her to experience a sense of security within herself. Having this high level of esteem self is having all the ingredients for success in all your life goals.
Low Self Esteem
On the other hand, if your esteem self is in a less than healthy
state, this will have a direct impact on how well you define or even achieve your goals. Lets say for example, that you have a weight-loss diet goal, which you define as - 'I must stop eating too much'.
This goal says a lot about your judgmental attitude toward yourself
and your eating habits. There is an element of 'being self critical' - of having a negative opinion of yourself rather than of the behavior. And since the focus here is on a negative eating trait you want to be rid of - (as opposed to being on something positive and new you want to bring into your life_), when you define a goal that is based on a negative aspect of yourself, a negative outcome is what you can expect.
Lets look at a positive alternative to defining that same goal. 'Eat a healthy balanced diet'. In this example, your focus is on the positive
change you want to bring into your life. This example demonstrate a
healthy sense of esteem self, a standpoint from which you can move
on to writing an achievable goal for success.
Your esteem self is shaped by your beliefs and attitudes, that
have been influenced and formed from your interactions with your parents, teachers and other significant authority figures since childhood. The quality of those interactions can dictate your level of healthy self esteem and in some instances, can even be the cause of low self esteem.
In effect, you're a product of your experiences of yesterday. Yet, this is something you can positively change when you want to, by making a commitment to build your self-esteem.
Since esteem self refers to the value you put on yourself,
it figures that your choices, decisions and actions are directly influenced by your attitude toward key aspects of of your life and your self worth. What are your beliefs and attitude toward the following:
On a scale of 1-10, what value do you put on you?
What is your view on your health life and life purpose?
What is your perception of how other people perceive you?
For example, too skinny, too fat, too clever, too much of a perfectionist etc.,
How do you approach your development skills - i.e, your
strengths/weaknesses in relation to your health? How do you perceive yourself and your needs - other than, as a mother, a wife, partner, a home maker or even a carer?
Can you list at least 3 of your health achievements without having to think long and hard about them?
On a scale of 1-10, what/how is your attitude on self-
reliance or self help on any aspect of your health and
How do you rate your capacity and potential for change?
What are your views on your relationships with your social networks?
How did you do? Perhaps you can take some time to reflect
on your answers.
So as you see, esteem is more than just self-confidence. The
state of your esteem self will determine how you define and approach challenging life events and even your your your health goals.
Your responses to the above will determine the level of self-
investment you will now need to make. should you consider your esteem self low, here are a few suggestions to help you on the road to strengthening your sense of self.
Self investment requires a genuine and healthy respect for yourself as you are. This can only come about with very careful attention being given to you and to your needs. This can be
as basic as doing something just for you, instead of devoting your entire self to, say, your familiy's needs, at the expense of your own.
To improve your esteem self, you need to take action. You will find some further guidance throughout this self esteem section, by clicking on the links. Here are a few more examples of what you could do for you, starting today - right now!
Treat yourself. Go out and buy yourself the biggest chocolate bar you possibly can - if chocolate is your thing that is. Start treating yourself as if you matter Take some time out and get stuck into that chocolate bar -
you owe it to yourself to MAKE TIME - put yourself first for a change
Make a start by doing something just for you on a regular basis. It could be anything from reading a good book, to having a facial massage to having an afternoon free for some quality relaxation time. Mine is always a Friday afternoon when I can veg out - I pledge never to be kitchen bound on this day
Make a point of being around people who make you laugh and/or
feel good and confident about yourself
Your Emotional Wellness and Stability will determine the level of your
self-steem. Use this
Health Skill For Wellness Exercise to build your emotional
health and wellness
You'll also find this Self-Esteem Activity useful as you start your journey of raising your esteem self.
Improving your esteem self calls for action - will power alone is
not enough. However, when will power is firmly supported by action,
you have the right ingredients to be who you want to be.
Make a start today by setting a goal to build your esteem self. You'll find a wealth of information, goal setting guidance and goal forms here, to get you started.
Remember, when your esteem self is high, you will be highly motivated and have the right attitude to succeed beyond your wildest dreams. Happy self-investment!
"A person's worth in this world is estimated according to the value they put on themselves".
. (Jean De La Bruyere)
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