Self Esteem Activity - Exercise


This self esteem activity calls for self knowledge and self awareness.

To achieve this you must learn how to tune in to yourself on a daily basis. You must also develop the practice of tuning into the self esteem mechanisms of other people you know. What you learn from this practice will teach you a great deal about how to improve your self esteem or how to gain self esteem.

You will find the following self esteem activity useful. Use your journal to work through the self esteem building activity exercise and record your observations, insights as well as any new ideas you get on how to build your self esteem further.


self esteem exercise

How many times in the past, have you seen a wicked hair style in a magazine which you promptly presented to your own stylist? Your wanting to capture that image or look was more than likely, because it was attractive, sexy or perhaps it was conveying a message that held some meaning you wanted to recreate for yourself. It's no different to building your self esteem.

Take a look around your circle of close friends and associates. For the benefit of this self esteem activity, we'll refer to them as your self esteem social network. What attractive charactor traits or attributes are they presenting? Do any of their positive qualities remind you of any aspect of yourself? Can you list 5 qualities they possess which you admire?

You can learn a great deal about yourself, simply by studying your social network's self esteem and using your observations to set yourself a self esteem activity. Consider what it is that make you like the people you know. Which of them do you particularly admire or which of their values do you respect and value? You could start with the person closest to you - it could be the bigger things but equally, the smaller things are just as important. For example, the way they wrinkle their nose when they smile. Grab your journal and start listing. Keep your list positive and only list the people you admire and respect - remember, this is a self esteem building activity.


Once you've constructed your list of the people in your social network self esteem circle, now make a list of all the different qualities they possess, and which you particularly like or don't like. Here is an example of questions you might want to ask yourself about each person on your self esteem activity list:

  • What qualities do I like in friends/associates?

  • What do I not like but accept about them?

  • What qualities/or attributes do I approve of/admire in them?

  • When I first met this person, did I like him/her instantly?

  • did I grow to like him/her over time?

  • When did I first realise that I liked him/her?

  • When did I know my liking for him/her had grown even more?

  • What traits/characteristics do I not like in him/her?

  • What is it about that trait/characteristic I do not like?

  • How do I respond to / accommodate that trait?

  • Does having that trait affect the way I feel about him/her?

    Now analyse all the information you've gathered from your self esteem activity. What does it tell you about particular friendships? What are the defining moments? What events or situations brought about change in those relationships? What is it about a person that make you really like him/her? Use This Social Network Exercise to further help you categorise the various friendships and what they mean to you.

    The data from your self esteem activity should provide you with a wealth of information about some of the people you know. See how much you've increased your awareness of them - i.e. of their characteristics, qualities, weaknesses and strengths? You are now going to repeat the self esteem building exercise, only this time it will be for yourself.

    In exactly the same way your self esteem activity revealed the many qualities, attributes and intricacies of your social network acquaintances, your's will be revealed too. It will also highlight areas of your weaknesses and whether you're as forgiving toward yourself as you are toward your social network.

    Your self esteem activity results will also illustrate your qualities, strengths as well as those attributes you personally want to work on and develop. In addition, use this Definition Of Self Concept Activity to help you clearly define who you are.

    'Modelling' is an NLP technique (Neuro Linguistic Programming) which you will find very useful as it can teach you how to gain self esteem. It works on the premise that if you admire, respect or value the attrbutes and qualities of a successful person, you 'model' their attitudes, behaviours and actions so you gain similar good results for yourself.

    This in no way shape or form mean that you are just simply 'copying' them. What it does mean is that having identified certain qualities in them, which you already possess, you are merely following their lead - i.e. what they do and how they go about doing what they, so that you will get similar positive results. Think about your self esteem activity like this! In the same way that you would seek to capture, create or adopt an image or a particular style or look - such as an attractive hairstyle, it is no different to you 'modelling' an attractive quality or attribute you identify in someone else.


    Self help: self esteem building activity resource:

    Learning how to build your esteem and self isn't difficult. By making full use of the self esteem activity outlined above, you too can become that person other people will want to 'model'.

    Do you want to know what it is to have a healthy Self Esteem? Learn the characteristics of a woman with high self-esteem and self confidence. Building your self esteem can be difficult if you do not fully understand the Cause Of Low Self Esteem

    An excellent strategy for increasing your self-esteem, is to set yourself small short-term achievable goals. Activity Goal Setting.

    "That kind of life is most happy which affords us most opportunities of gaining our own esteem" (Samuel Johnson)


    The information on this site is purely of educational value and is not intended to replace your seeking medical advice. You must consult your doctor over all your health concerns.


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